Rude Awakening Post

Life is what happens to you
while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon 1940-1980

Hard to believe its been 31 years since he was shot. It only underscored (for me) the amazing viscosity of time and its ability to slip right through our fingers. My first cognition of its finite quality occurred when my parents died. The permanency of death and loss hit me like a ton of bricks.

A decade later, I'm beginning to see people my own age losing family and friends. It starkly illuminates the limitations of hours and days left on this earth.

This season, everything I've been experiencing has contributed to this vivid realization. Yesterday, I called my neighbor in the house behind me to let her know UPS had dropped a package for her on my porch. While talking, she invited me to a get-together on Saturday. She said it was mainly their families. Somehow we got on the topic of her mother and mentioning that she was 63 years old.

This caught me by surprise, it knocked the wind out of me...her mom is in my age range! The date stamp on my forehead burned with this realization. For so long I've lived my life as if it would never end. What was I thinking? Maybe we all live in this fog. Possibly if we didn't we'd go crazy.

I do think the media and advertising in this country, the ceaseless promotion of the concepts of youth and beauty, lull us into this delusion. I could get up on my little soapbox here and launch into my thoughts on the complete lack of ethics paraded in front of us by the banking and investment industries as well as big business and the talking heads in Washington...but I won't. I'll stay more focused.

Anyways, I don't know what I'll do with this kick in the head of reality, I'm pretty much just trying to wrap my brain around the concept and what my place in this world is at the moment. This much is clear, I can't just continue to "wait around" hoping for inspiration. As I said in an earlier post, this is "not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life".

Prior to the end of the world as I knew it, aka the divorce, my life lay mapped out before me with each step of the journey revealing itself to me at the appropriate time. Now, I'm lost, wandering aimlessly in a desert.

This quote (above) came to me, out of the blue a few days ago. I didn't realize that today was the anniversary of John Lennon's death till after this post was complete. The energies that can be harnessed in this world continue to amaze me. Appears as if a universal awareness of what today was, came from so many people that it permeated the ethers. A single universal consciousness of this day spread across the world.

Today, I wish you the gifts of clarity and peace. Don't wait and learn the hard way that things are not always what they seem.

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Blogger Joanne said...

Strange, I had a similar realization the other day. I was walking down the street and had the sudden urge to call my mother, just because who knew what could happen at any second of any day and why hadn't I been living every second to it's fullest. It was definitely jarring and eye-opening.

12/9/11, 5:22 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

Thanks for your thoughts. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to pick up the phone and hear my mother's voice, but I can't and it hurts. All I can do at this point is remind myself that hindsight is 20/20. Hope you had a nice chat with your mother.

12/9/11, 1:28 PM  

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