Was having a bit of a hard time today. Even though my knee looks like a basketball, I tackled cleaning out the fridge, freezer and vegetable bin. Was quite proud of myself.
In the interest of being more positive, I'm stopping at this point. Let's just call it garbage can problem-week three. I'd accomplished something I've wanted to do for some time which was to clean out the freezer, something I haven't done for over two years. It had become the great wall of icy unknowns. The rest goes sort of downhill after that, but as I said, we won't go there today.
Funny, after a little meltdown and pity party, it dawned on me as I wrote this, that it will all work out in the end. Why get all worked up over something I have no control over?
This is an amazing realization for me. You know how "you can know something" but until you internalize it, the meaning stays "on the surface" so to speak? (Does that make any sense?) Well, I had finally unconsciously embraced the meaning of my dad's words after many years.
In the past I would have been having hissy-fits, which in the end only hurt me and for what purpose? It wouldn't have made me happier. Life happens. Just go with it. Somehow, a month or so from now, it will all be resolved so why fight it?
This thought took me down memory lane...back to when my father was alive. I loved talking to him about business. He was so brilliant and had experienced so much in his life. Once I called him in the late 80's when I was having a horrid time at work. We talked about solutions and how to look at things. He used stories from his life to illustrate how experience taught him what he was relaying to me.
I loved his stories. He told me to have a picture in my mind of a month or two or three down the road when it was all over. It wasn't an eternity. No matter what I faced in the present, he said to keep that vision in mind because by then, the problems would most likely be resolved. It wasn't easy to do but he was right.
It's something I've tried to remember throughout my life, not always successfully. At least, not until today. Once I'd calmed down and accepted the problem, I called the property manager, explained the gardeners used both cans so I had nowhere to put the trash and it had been like this for three weeks. She said she'd take care of it.
You'll recall P and A who live in the back house? Because of my knee problem, P's been kind enough to take the cans out to the curb for me over the last few months. I called and left him a message not to bother, that the problem would be solved. In spite of that, he managed to jam several bags into the loaded cans and was rolling them out.
Seeing this, I ran (more like hobbled) out to tell him not to worry about it and he told me not to worry about it! The cans went out to the curb and he took the bags he couldn't fit in, back to their own garbage bin. I was stunned and thanked him profusely.
As a result of letting go, a wonderful little blessing dropped into my lap. If I were a church going soul, this is what I would say qualifies for the monicker "let go and let God". But even though I'm not, I think it illustrates the quality of grace.
When you let grace into your life and try to extend it to others, wondrous things can happen... we just need to stay in a place of quiet acceptance in order to see these marvels, thus allowing them to manifest.
When you give up trying to fight and control life, all on your own, it just magically becomes easier. When we fight life, we miss all the invisible grace that surrounds us on this earth. Maybe that's what's meant by surrendering the ego.
By acknowledging that we're vulnerable and can't do it all, we're embracing the concept of grace which allows a certain serenity to surround us. When we fight things with an attitude of "I can do it all myself" we block grace and keep it from entering our lives.
I have no idea where all of this came from today, but this evening I feel so much better not having put myself through the ringer of anger. Miracles are around us every second of every day, just waiting to be seen, waiting to be allowed "in". This year, regardless of your religious or non-religious beliefs, let them find you. They're waiting.
There are two ways to live,
you can live as if nothing is a miracle
or you can live as if everything is a miracle.
Labels: Grace, Gratitude, Inspiration, Life, Memory Lane, Miracles, Realizations