Crazy Heart

It always amazes me how poisonous this divorce is and how the poison can cripple and depress me.  I had two documents that my lawyer prepared to send to the opposing council (OC) regarding their last letter and the upcoming deposition of doltoid.  There were a number of areas that had to be filled in (costs less if I do it vs. them rooting through 4 years of documents) and I had put it off for 8 days but knew I had to just sit down and do it.  So I spent about 5 hours yesterday digging through the boxes of divorce documents in the garage to get the needed info.

I had rented "Crazy Heart" (which was excellent by the way) and thought I was alright.  But I woke up this morning and literally could not bring myself to get out of bed till 11:45.  I was so depressed and dead in my heart.  It's like I can feel the poison in my veins.  If I envision it, I see blackness where blood should be.

It's also strange how forgetful it makes me and I have to be very careful in my movements and driving when this hits because I don't alway see things.  Hard to explain, but I become rather "fragile" when the poison strikes.  I really thought I'd gotten beyond the effects it can have on me, but I guess not.  You should see how slow I'm typing right now, it's as if I've been shifted into a slow motion movie and can't speed up.

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