July Fourth

There are some holidays I just don't like, such as Halloween and the Fourth of July. Both these days involve loud or scary things at night. My imagination is just too vivid for Halloween and I hate opening my door to strangers at night to dole out candy. Back when I was married, my ex used to handle that task. Now, I just hide in the bedroom with all the lights in the house off and wait till about 9 p.m. which seems to be when people stop "trick or treating". It's also annoying because virtually no effort goes into making the costumes any more. When I was a kid, my mom made a costume for each of us every year.

As far as July 4, it's a fine holiday commemorating our independence and I love looking at fireworks. But it also brings with it idiots setting off illegal firecrackers which remind me in a small way of what it must feel like to live in a war zone.

My response is to run and hide. Add to that the other bunch of fools who shoot off guns into the sky...Hello? Those bullets come back down! So I find myself just living for each of these days to be over.

The thing that put July 4 over the top for me happened four years ago when the ratty teenager who lived in the back house on the property next to mine, and his friend were playing with firecrackers. They'd light them, drop them in empty plastic water bottles and throw them. They made a really loud explosion.

At the time, Alpine had never been afraid of noises of any sort. Then the kid threw one of the exploding bottles into my yard near Alpine and scared her to death. She hid in the darkest corner under my desk for the next two days shaking like a leaf and refusing to eat. After that, any loud or sudden noise made her drop to the floor with her ears pinned back. It was so sad. I'm glad to say that man and his kid have moved out since then. But I still just want these two holidays to be over with.

On a similar but totally different note, I went out at about 5 p.m. to get poppy seeds for the Wine Country Chicken salad. I was struck by how empty the streets were. While at the store, I picked up a chicken on sale thinking I'd make Chick on a Stick, but when I couldn't find any fresh thyme decided to freeze it for another day, besides I really didn't feel like cooking. I mean, I haven't even completed the chicken salad I planned on making today.

The emptiness I was feeling as I drove home, turned into loneliness compounded by having to drive without air conditioning in 95F heat. Makes one a little daft. Then without warning I suddenly decided to  just go to Subway and get a sandwich, screw the holiday. I was all alone any way. As I pulled in the empty parking lot I wondered if Subway would even be open. It was and I was the only car in that area of the lot as well as their only customer. Leaving, I was enveloped by a sense of anger that here I was totally alone while doltoid had set himself up with not only new friends but a girlfriend he lived with. Meanwhile my holidays are spent alone and I resent him for cheating on me on so many levels it's remarkable.

To get myself out of this funk, I'll end with this magical video I found online. Be sure to watch it on the full screen and with the sound turned down.

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